Somatic Intimacy REEF™ Coaching

My work is grounded in lived experience and nervous system–based practice.

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In intimacy, we all develop default patterns.
These patterns are not random, they are adaptive responses shaped by safety, history, and context.

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For a long time, my own default pattern — with others and with myself — was a blanket no:
a generalized contraction, withdrawal, or shutdown.
Not because connection or pleasure were unwanted, but because saying no everywhere felt safer than discerning moment by moment.

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Others protect themselves differently: by saying yes too quickly, over-adapting, pleasing, or overriding internal signals.
While these strategies look different, they share a common function: they reduce perceived risk.

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Through somatic and nervous system–based practices, I didn’t eliminate my pattern.

I learned to recognize it, listen to it, and relate to it with more choice.

 

I developed the capacity to:

• notice internal signals more accurately

• stay present with sensation and emotion without becoming overwhelmed

• distinguish between no, maybe, and yes based on felt safety rather than habit

 

This experiential understanding is the foundation of my work.

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Working together may support you to​:

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Recognize default protective strategies
Such as blanket no, freezing, pleasing, fawning, over-functioning, or disconnection; and understand when and why they arise.

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Build trust in your nervous system
By learning to recognize signals of safety, discomfort, and boundaries as concrete bodily experiences.

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Increase somatic awareness and precision
Including the ability to notice subtle sensations, shifts in arousal, and patterns of tension and release.

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Differentiate desire from obligation
So consent, preference, and boundaries become clearer and more specific.

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Cultivate embodied decision-making
Using the somatic signatures of yes, no, and pause rather than fear, urgency, or cognitive override.

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Increase capacity for difficult emotions
Including shame, sadness, grief, and frustration — without needing to suppress, fix, or bypass them.

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Relate to pleasure as a cultivated presence

Understanding pleasure as something that develops with safety and attunement, rather than something to produce, perform, or achieve.

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Many people come to somatic intimacy coaching because they want more access to pleasure: with themselves or with others.

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In my experience, pleasure becomes more available when the body feels safe enough to stay present.
When there is choice. When signals are trusted. When limits are respected.

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The practices we work with do not aim to “create” pleasure directly.
They build the somatic capacities that allow pleasure to emerge organically: without forcing, overriding, or performing.

From this place, pleasure is not something you chase.
It is something you can stay with.

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Curious about cultivating the conditions that allow authentic pleasure to emerge? 

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​​​​​Please note: As part of part of my accreditation and my commitment to making sessions accessible to all, I am offering a reduced sliding-scale rate (40€-70€) for 75-90 minute sessions until March 2026.

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• The sliding scale rate is offered in euros. If you are based in a country with a stronger currency, I invite you to offer the same numerical amount in your local currency (for example, 40–70 GBP rather than a currency conversion).

• Starting in April, I will also offer a full somatic coaching process for one person in need; once that process is completed, another person in need will be able to access a free process.

• If finances are a barrier, you’re warmly invited to contact me and we can explore options together.